Um...no.

I put in two time off requests for January. Hell, I did NOT ask for New Year's Eve or NY Day off. (And, yes, they did schedule me for doubles on both. Meaning I will get to do a grand total of, ummm, let's see....NOTHING. Love you, too, bosses.)

However. The two days I DID request off are for 1. my wedding dress fitting, which is out of state, and 2. a wedding banquet. (The reason it's a "banquet" and not a "wedding" is that the Garden of Olives is too goddamned stingy with time off to let me have four days in order to attend a West Coast wedding. Yes. This was planned a very long time in advance. Yes. The airline did hit Alex with fees when we had to cancel because it was so super duper fucking important that I be available for those days.)

Oh...yeah. Guess whether or not I have those two other days off, now? They're in the middle of the month, with no holiday times involved. We have a lot of servers, and I am not irreplaceable. My reasons for getting time off are, you know, sort of once in a lifetime events. (Oh...the answer rhymes with "flow", but starts with an "n". Got it yet?)

In addition, the management team cannot schedule worth a damn. Nor, in fact, do they fucking CARE about the people who work for them. This is my only day off this week. (A typical OG work week is supposed to be 30 hours, because any more increases the likelihood of foot injuries.) I'm working doubles most days. (For the non-restaurant crew, that means you work both shifts in the day. And it is a beastly affair.) Yeah, great, I get time and a half for all that overtime...on my $2.13 salary. Yes, that is most definitely worth it. And all the other servers that the management isn't trying to get rid of have equally awful schedules. Since we are, apparently, no longer hiring, this also implies the grand pattern of things is more of the same.

As it is, I have gotten a grand total of zero resumes done since I started working. I've worked in restaurants before -- they do NOT tire me out like this. The fucking evil customers, the cheapass New Jersey tippers, the horrible children, all the running around, the fact that the OG is, apparently, everyone's fantasy family reunion place and we get parties of 8-18 from the time we open to the time we close...I have no energy. Cooking? Not fun anymore. Games? I play WoW, sometimes, as a cure for insomnia. Sleep? Um...what's that? I'm literally too tired and angry to sleep most nights. (No, it doesn't make sense.) Pets? Meh. I feed them and care for them, but I don't really have energy to play. Reading? Haven't picked up a book in weeks.

I am quitting. There's no doubt. The only question is when. I keep trying to figure out a way to do it without screwing over other servers. I could quit NOW, as in, go in on my day off and say, "Hey, you remember last night, when (after you called me in an hour early, and for absolutely no reason) I learned that one of my students had been shot and was maybe dead and I started crying in the dry storage room, and you not only sent someone ELSE home, but made me work 'til we closed, even though my tables had gone? Fuck you, that was the last straw!" (Yes, true story.) But...the other servers would get stuck with my shifts. Anyone who didn't have a double for a day I was supposed to work suddenly would have one. Anyone who had a day off...surprise, no more.

Alternatively, I could quit at the end of the week, before the schedule comes out. But, the next week, they'd then be short a server. Same problem. It's a better option, because they DO have to give days off every now and then, but it feels slimy.

Finally (and this one's the obnoxious part), this is literally THE ONLY place in my area of Jersey that deigned to hire me. Walmart, Target, every retail joint ever...nothing. Friday's, Maggiano's, Tuesday's...nothing. Corporate jobs? Hah. Teaching jobs? Of course not. County/state jobs? No fucking way. Government? Nope. So, this is kind of the only game in town. It's less than minimum wage, even with tips, it's incredibly draining, my management is clueless, and it's exhausting me to the point where I don't have the energy to feed myself when I get home from a shift. (And they play it very fast and loose with meal break laws while I'm on shift. As in, "Haha, fat chance, no.") But, it is a job. I've made enough to pay off the upfront uniform buying stuff, and (maybe) all the stupid orthopedic inserts for my shoes. There's no more net loss. Anything from here on out is going to go towards paying the taxes on those earlier tips, and, after that, it's 2/3 mine.

But...I moved up here to be with Alex. I see him, sort of, as I stumble in at 11 pm-1 am. But I'm tired and depressed and furious, and do not want to talk or do anything. Even on days off, I'm tired. (This is being written in installments, as a break from mopping floors and cleaning the kitchen. I do not have the energy to do it in one fell swoop.) We're supposed to go out for dinner tonight. I don't want to. I'm still in my pajamas, and don't have the energy or inclination to change, let alone go outside. (Nor to cook.)

My parents keep telling me to give it time. In a couple of months, this will all work itself out. But, in a couple of months, I'll need to HAVE my Texas certificate, which means studying for and taking a couple exams, and I'll need to have some idea of where we're living next year. And, yeah, that's NOT happening on this schedule.

I'm used to crappy jobs. I.B.E. was awful. But, at the end of the day, I was (at least) sort of helping kids. (Sort of.) And I was using my education (sort of). Here, at the end of the day, I have served bratty children breadsticks and dealt with their asshole parents who believe that, after monopolizing 18 seats for three hours and making three servers run around catering to their insane whims, that the 18% "You have a fucking enormous party that screwed up our kitchen, baking section, salad section, soup section, the servers' schedules, the bussers' entire operation, the bar, and the table arrangement for an entire room of the restaurant" gratuity is the same as an automatic tipping service. Er...no. That's the "You fucked up our entire restaurant by dropping in with everyone you've ever known" tax. And it's split between the servers. And the bussers. And the bar. And, you fucking illiterate cheapskates, that's not a "tip". Notice how the "tip" slot is still blank. This is because a "gratuity" is not a "tip".

(Like I said, always angry and depressed now.)

Thre's no conclusion to this. I'm tired, pissed off, and need to go finish cleaning, because god knows I don't have time or energy on a work day. Remember, kids, a college education pays off!